Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A Promise

I got the email this Monday as I always do from Mama Kat with the writing prompts for this week. I haven't participated lately. I don't always. I saw the topic, "A promise." This one sort of stuck out for me. There are many directions I could take this, but instead, I'm just going to write what comes to mind about the topic.

You see, I'm a little jaded about promises. Between my own absent father's constant promises to be there, to call, to write, and to just generally show that he cared about me and every relationship I have had up to this point in my life, I have come to the conclusion that the words, "I promise" generally precede a statement that will never ever be fulfilled.

My real dad will never be the father I always wanted him to be.

My exes really won't be there no matter what.

My mom won't protect me from bad things.

Nobody will be there when I really need people except...well, me.

Previously I promised myself that I would never make promises to my son. In typical promise fashion, I have already broken it. There are things that I promise my son.

I promise that he will not live the same childhood that I did even if I have to call, hound, and yell at his father to be there daily. Luckily things are improving on that front.

I promise him that I will always give him all of me.

I promise him that I won't give up on myself. If I don't believe in me, how can I teach him to believe in himself?

I PROMISE him that he will learn how to be respectful. I promise him that he will know how to treat a significant other someday better than his father and I combined.

I promise him that I will keep leading my life. That I will not give in to the temptation to put all of my hopes and dreams on his shoulders.

I promise him that we will make it. That no matter what I have to do I will succeed for him.

I promise him that I will love him more than anything or anyone until the day that I die.

I promise that I will be the nagging mother that's always in his business. That I will know where he's going, who he's going with, and what they are going to do. I promise this because I firmly believe that that is the difference between a well behaved teenager and a wild one.

I promise to be here and to listen to him without judgment to anything he has to tell me.

I promise that I will value his opinion.

I promise that, even if I think he is making the wrong decision, I will stand by him. It's his life, after all, not mine.

...but mostly I promise him that I will do everything in my power to keep him safe, happy, and healthy for as long as I possibly can...and when I can't anymore, I promise to let go of the reins and let him walk on his own. Even if he stumbles.

These promises are too important to break.


I also linked up at Thirsty for Comments Thursdays this week!

Acting Balanced

This post was originally written as part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Mama’s Losin’ It

10 comments:

  1. A very promising and heart warming post. It was a pleasure to read.

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  2. Those are great promises from the heart.

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    1. Thank you. That seems to be the only way to keep them :)

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  3. I find all the broken promises in my path have made me stick to mine, without fail, with my own children. At least they benefit from what others failed to do.

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    1. That is an excellent point. Thank you!

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  4. I can understand how you feel about broken promises from parents. Even though I am grown it still pops up from time to time. Like Wayne said this is a very moving and touching post. All the promises that you have made to your son are great ones! I am sure he knows how much you love him. I am not sure how old he is, as this is the first time I have been to your blog. I will be back to read more from you! Thank you so very much for sharing!

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    1. Thanks! He's 3 for now. He'll be 4 in June *gulp* I still don't know how that happened. Time is flying lol

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  5. I agree with CJ, sometimes having grown up with parents who constantly broke their promises have made us more sensitive to keeping each promise we make. I try not to say the word promise unless I can really come through.

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    1. Yes! As adults I don't think we realize how seriously kids take those words....unless you remember how much it hurt when someone broke one.

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