Monday, June 11, 2012

Single Without Kids: A Guest Post

Today I have a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers. You may remember her. She wrote a guest post for the old blog. It was one of my favorite posts, and I am so glad she agreed to share her thoughts on parenting. Even though she doesn't have any children of her own, she is one of the smartest, most insightful people I've ever "met." She's one of my greatest Twitter friends. I'm going to stop babbling now and let you hear from her!
As you can tell by the title, I am single without kids. Although, I don’t have to dispute the single part as often, I do find myself having to dispute the fact I don’t have kids when people see me around kids. Whether I’m cradling a baby or helping a middle school kid with homework, people assume I have kids of my own. I do not believe there is a full proof guide book to raising kids; it’s trial and error. I also do not believe that because I don’t have kids that I don’t know anything about raising them.
Of the course of several years I have been responsible for the well-being of other people’s kids as a nanny, older cousin, god-mother, and dance teacher in a private studio. I’ve had the chance to objectively watch people with their kids and see the effects of their child rearing skills. The basics are pretty much the same, but the fine details and unexpected twist and turns of life are where the differences come into play.
My thoughts on raising kids are quite simple:
  1. Remember children learn what they are taught; be mindful of what you are teaching them.
  2. Each child is different. While one child may be numb to a spanking another children may feel lower than the belly of ant by getting hit. One child may grow up in a household of foolishness and become a Rhodes Scholar while the other a homeless drug addict. Know your child’s personality.
  3. Be respectfully nosey. I don’t see anything wrong with checking your child’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. if your child is between 13 and 16. Would my 13 year old have any of those social media luxuries? No. I do have a problem with snooping through your child’s journals unless you have reason to suspect something is going on.
  4. Be proactive and involved. I think that’s self-explanatory
  5. Be open to discussion. If your child can’t talk to you who can they talk to? Who are they talking to?
  6. As my great-grandma used to say, “No matter the crime the child is mine.” Easier said than done if your child actually does commit a huge crime.
  7. Love your child. My grandmothers still tell their children, “I love you.”
  8. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s trial and error. Hopefully you won’t have too many errors, but don’t hate yourself if you make a mistake with your child.
  9. Remember it’s the smallest things that make your child feel amazing. Leave a note in their lunch box. Surprise them when you can. Remember their favorite things. Find something special to do with each of your kids; one on one. My favorite thing to do with my dad is to sit outside and talk until we fall asleep. My favorite thing to do with my mom is playing the piano with her.
  10. Encourage them to learn. Education is valuable and is not limited to the walls of a school.
I would like to have 2 children and would like to raise them to be productive members of society with great senses of humor!

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