Thursday, June 21, 2012

You Know You're A Mom When...

Oh, Mama Kat, you've always got me thinking. In response to one of this weeks prompts, I have compiled a list of ways that you know without a doubt that you are a mother.

* There's a booger in your hair. You don't know who it belongs to.

* Who cares where if it's 5 o'clock somewhere? Is it bedtime yet?

* You highly consider asking your mother if you can move back in with her so that there will be someone to help with laundry, dishes, and feeding this child that is hungry every 34 seconds but somehow never eats.

* Speaking of your own mother, you sound a LOT like her lately...
* There is a moment when a new mom asks you for advice because, "you know what you're doing and I am so lost." You stare at her in disbelief because you're still making it up as you go along, too. You remember BEING that mom. It seems like it was ten minutes ago. Then you get it together and tell her how to REALLY handle teething. Wine. Oh, not for the baby, for you!

* You are so proud of your unbelievably talented/smart/stunningly handsome/well-behaved child. Then you look over and realize there's chocolate milk dried on their face, their finger is up their nose, they just sang the alphabet (at the top of their lungs) and left out L, M, N, O, and P, and they trip and fall on their face. You're still just as proud as you were a moment ago

* Your clothes don't match. You're just happy they are clean.

* Suddenly nothing in life is as important as raising your child to be a healthy, happy, responsible, loving person...even that relationship with their other parent that you fought so hard to keep together.

* You hear your child ask their doctor during their checkup, "My peepee is really cool, huh?" You just laugh. Kids say the darndest things...

* When your friends without kids talk about how much fun they had going out you realize that you're not upset that you missed the party. Who has the energy to get drunk and dance until 3 am?

* Suddenly you realize that you don't have much in common with those childless friends anymore. You don't think they want to hear another diaper explosion story. You certainly don't care what insignificant drama has happened that you missed.  You feel sad, but make an effort to still find things to talk about.

* You have begun to question every decision you've ever made. You hope and pray that your kids never find out that you made half of them. I mean, really, do you want them to know what you did in college?

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